


Love Me Till The End

by Casisnotonfire



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Characters die but are brought back to life in the beginning, Could be triggering at times, Don't read it for fluff though, F/M, Heartbroken Shinra, M/M, Slow Build, Smut is later though, Some Fluff, dealing with death, there is smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casisnotonfire/pseuds/Casisnotonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the loss of his two best friends in a car crash, Kishitani Shinra is left heartbroken. Insane from grief, the doctor uses their blood samples to create clones of Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo. The clones both retain memories of their past and deal with living as ageless humanoids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_A lithe body burst out from behind a building, cackling brightly as a furious roar shook the streets of Ikebukuro._

_A tall figure crashed out of the same establishment, screaming the hunted man's name over and over._

_The two raced throughout the always busy city, completely lost in their chase._

_Stop signs were ripped from the ground they'd been implanted in, motorcycles torn to pieces, and horrified gang members were left in the two strongest men of Ikebukuro's wake._

_"IZAYA!"_

_Suddenly, an irate bellow stopped the smaller person in their tracks, a happy smile dancing across their defined face._

_"Is there a problem, Shizu-chan?"_

_Izaya asked sweetly, waving his switchblade in the air teasingly as he watched his pursuer._

_Shizuo clenched his newest stop sign tightly, walking out onto the paved road to confront his arch enemy._

_Onlookers stared from the sidewalks, no one having the guts to move an inch from their spot and leaving the street empty save for the two._

_"I thought I told you to stay out of 'Bukuro, you damn flea."_

_The ex-bartender snarled, grinding his teeth together._

_With a simple chuckle, the informant rolled his eyes without a care._

_"And I thought I told you I refuse to listen to a monster~"_

_Izaya chirped, crimson eyes gleaming as sunlight reflected of them._

_The blond man seethed in pure rage, lifting up his sign to put an end to the parasite once and for all._

 

 

_Then the car hit._


	2. Chapter 2

> _-Setton has joined the chatroom-_
> 
> Taro: **Setton-san, how are you doing?**
> 
> Setton: **I've been...fine. I see Kanra-san isn't here again.**
> 
> Saika: **Yes, she hasn't been here since the accident.**
> 
> Bakyura: **I never thought I'd say this but it's too quiet without her. Even if she is just an annoyance.**
> 
> Setton: **Well she must come back surely!**
> 
> Taro: **...It's been two weeks, Setton-san.**
> 
> Setton: **People take time off from the internet!**
> 
> Bakyura: **...I don't think she's coming back. Ever.**
> 
> Saika: **It's sort of weird how she stopped responding right after the deaths of Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo, don't you think?**
> 
> Setton: **Don't remind me.**
> 
> _-Private Mode-  
> _
> 
> Saika: **Celty, how have you really been doing?  
> **
> 
> Setton: **It's been rather hard but I've been coping, Anri. Losing Shizuo was the difficult part. His brother is a wreck.**
> 
> Saika: **I've heard, he's been caught drinking numerous times hasn't he?**
> 
> Setton: **Yes, it's very unlike him. No one really knows he's Shizuo's brother so they just think he's acting out for no reason.**
> 
> Saika: **That's awful.**
> 
> Setton: **How have Izaya's sister been? They go to school with you, right?**
> 
> Saika: **They've been skipping a lot. Mairu gets into more fights and Kururi talks even less than she did before. I didn't realize they were that close to Orihara-san.**
> 
> Setton: **I've heard Ryuugamine-kun has been worse as well.**
> 
> Saika: **He doesn't really talk to me or Kida anymore. All he does is look at his phone. He claims Izaya is still alive.**
> 
> Setton: **A lot has changed ever since those two passed. I never thought I'd say I missed Izaya but...it just feels wrong without him and Shizuo creating havoc throughout the city.**
> 
> Saika: **We'll just have to adapt, I suppose. It'll get either.**
> 
> Setton: **...I suppose you're right.**
> 
> Saika: **Oh, how has Kishitani-san been? No one has heard from him since the accident.**
> 
> Setton: **....**
> 
> Saika: **I'm sorry, that was too personal.**
> 
> Setton: **No no, it's fine. Shinra has been...well, he's been terrible. I'm honestly scared for him and his health.**
> 
> Saika: **I'm so sorry, he was good friends with Orihara-san and Heiwajima-san, wasn't he?**
> 
> Setton: **He met Shizuo in elementary school and Izaya in junior high. They were technically his only friends and he just can't seem to accept the fact that they're gone.**
> 
> Saika: **He'll get better, I'm sure. I have to do schoolwork now but I wish you luck, Celty.**
> 
> Setton: **Take care, Anri.**
> 
> _-Setton has left the chatroom-_

Celty inaudibly sighed and shut off her computer for the night, stretching her stiff joints slightly before standing up. The dullahan slowly stood up from her desk chair and made her way over to Shinra's room. Sure enough, upon her entering the doctor laid on his bed, passed out with empty liquor bottles splayed out around him. Unimaginable sadness welled inside her chest as she picked up each bottle and dumped them in the trash. Gently picking up the sleeping man, she tucked him in under the covers. Pale hands stroked the brunet's hair before taking off his glasses and setting them down on his desk. She noted the dried tears clinging to his face before exiting the room for her own. 

The whole situation had shocked Celty to the very core of her being. Not once did she imagine Shizuo or Izaya leaving her life, even though it should have been obvious since they were only humans. Grief had settled inside her for the loss of her fake blond friend and she even found herself missing Izaya's playfulness from time to time.

However, the dullahan concluded that she could and would move on from this after awhile. As for her lover though, she had no idea if he would ever get past his best friends deaths. Her mind drifted off to when they had first heard about the news. They had been watching television when the news report of a speeding semi truck had crashed into two men and left them dead. Celty remembered going cold at seeing the victims names displayed on the screen and how she had 'looked' over at her partner.

That's when Celty realized she wasn't looking at her partner. No, that man couldn't be the person she'd spent so long with. The eyes behind his glasses were blank and staring at nothing while his body suddenly seemed small inside his white jacket. He simply exited the house and left for the hospital, knowing he was both Shizuo and Izaya's emergency contact.

Shinra hadn't spoken a single word since then. All he did was work on papers Celty could make no sense of whatsoever in his lab before passing out in exhaustion and falling asleep while crying.

Even though it had only been two weeks, Celty couldn't see this continuing cycle ending ever.

She still hoped for him to snap out of it.

She would wait no matter how long it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Izaya and Shizuo will be in the next chapter! Sorry they weren't in this one!


	3. Chapter 3

Celty knew something was wrong the moment she walked into her house.

It was quiet, but that was nothing unusual these days since Shinra said nothing and always kept to himself.

Everything looked to be in order. It didn't seem like someone had broken into their apartment.

Then what was it?

Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, the dullahan slowly took off her helmet and set it down on the kitchen counter, reminding herself that she would need to pick up groceries tomorrow.

Not that Shinra ate much anymore. Usually Celty had to force a few morsels down the doctor's throat just so he would keep living. It seemed her partner would rather drown himself in alcohol rather than food.

It wasn't like she blamed him for it, though.

The courier, as named by a certain deceased informant, walked to her room silently and 'looked' around to see if anything had changed.

Nothing.

Celty sat down at her computer and logged into the Dollars chatroom, hoping to talk to someone -hopefully Anri, her best supernatural friend- but was saddened to find out absolutely no one was on.

Well, Kanra always replied no matter what time of day it was. Unfortunately the unknown female left for good.

After a few minutes of ~~desperately~~ hoping for someone to join she gave up and turned off the computer, deciding to instead find her quiet lover.

It wasn't like Celty didn't know where he was.

She knew that he was locked away in his lab, most likely performing different experiments.

He didn't allow her to see what was going on in there. Usually, the dullahan would insist or even investigate on her own to see what the doctor was hiding but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

The man needed his privacy, for Christ's sake. He'd just lost the two supposedly constant people in his life.

Instead of barging in, Celty would now simply knock on the door to tell her lover that dinner was done and would proceed to shove food down his throat.

Much like Shizuo and Izaya were to Shinra, the doctor was Celty's everything. She couldn't cope without him and refused to think of the future where he would eventually pass, leaving her alone to continue with her immortal life.

For now though, Celty refused to watch him waste away.

After eating, the dullahan would sadly watch the doctor stumble back into his lab (most likely still buzzed from another bottle of liquor) and wait until 9:00 p.m where she would send him to bed.

It was a dreary life.

Celty would give anything to have the bubbly and perverted man back in her life. This hollow shell wasn't Shinra.

No matter what though, she would never leave him. It would be downright cruel to abandon him when he needed her most.

The dullahan was ripped out of her depressing thoughts as a loud bang sounded from outside her room.

She rushed out, waiting to fight off a possible alien that had invaded earth.

The TV said it would happen sometime soon after all.

However, Celty was greeted with a breathless Shinra who ran towards her.

Celty stopped.

**[Shinra...? Is everything alright?]** She tentatively typed out and showed her lover.

Except...it really didn't seem like Shinra.

This man had his old grin splayed across his face again, eyes bright behind their glasses.

It was like Shinra had returned!

"Celty, my dearest love! I have something absolutely spectacularly amazing to show you! I'm sure you'll be absolutely and positively thrilled!" Shinra squealed like a little school girl and tugged her wrist.

If she had her head, Celty would be smiling softly at him.

Had...he finally gotten over it?

Not wanting to possibly put Shinra off, Celty immediately followed him.

That's when she realized where they were heading.

The lab she hadn't been allowed in.

All of the sudden that uncomfortable feeling she'd had when she first walked in hit her full force.

However, the courier understood what it was now.

It was foreboding.

Feet moving slightly slower now, Celty walked into the room after the joyful doctor.

She barely made it three feet inside when she stopped.

Her blood ran cold.

....What?

Had she fallen asleep?

This...couldn't be real.

Shinra wouldn't actually be this desperate!

"Celty, dear, I did it!" Shinra exclaimed, bouncing up and down like a kid on Christmas morning.

She didn't respond, her phone having clattered to the floor.

Instead the dullahan watched crimson and mocha eyes focus on her, both laced with obvious confusion.

"Meet Shizuo and Izaya 2.0!" Shinra chirped, gesturing towards the small brunet and tall fake blond.

Both men who were supposed to be...no, _are_ dead continued to look her over silently.

 

_Shinra...what have you done?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, our first appearance of our lovely Shizuo and Izaya!!


	4. Chapter 4

"...Celty?" Shizuo frowned, obviously confused.

The dullahan 'stared' at her old best friend in complete disbelief, her body frozen.

Even his _voice_ sounded the same.

She chose not to reply to the blond and instead stormed up to Shinra. In one quick movement the Black Rider slammed him against the wall, shadows angrily shooting out of her neck.

**[What did you do? Tell me!]** Celty demanded of the doctor, taking note of every detail displayed across his face.

Shinra looked so relieved. His dull eyes were light now but his smile strained. His brown hair was a total mess and even his glasses were covered with dust, as if they hadn't been cleaned for days. His usually ironed lab coat still a wrinkled mess.

It seemed like he was just finally starting to get better with Shizuo and Izaya back.

Except, they weren't. Those two were still dead and they would be forever, Shinra couldn't change that.

So...what exactly were these replicas of the two strongest men in Ikebukuro?

"Shinra, what's going on?" Izaya narrowed his eyes at the giddy man.

The small raven jumped off the operating table on, preparing to land on his feet and walk over to his friend.

Instead he collapsed onto the floor, legs buckling underneath him. Shinra rushed over to Izaya and lifted him, helping him back onto the table.

"Stop it, Izaya! You're not ready to walk just yet!" The brunet scolded him.

Celty felt a shiver run up her spine as she watched Izaya try to hide the obvious fear in his eyes and how Shizuo desperately tried to move his legs.

The blond whirled on Shinra, fury slicing through his mocha eyes.

"What the fuck did you do to us, bastard?!" He snarled.

The doctor simply smiled and leaned against the wall, watching his three bewildered friends.

"Well first off I should say that you and Izaya died but I brought you back to life using your blood samples. The two of you were fighting in the road and a speeding car hit you, killing both of you on impact. For the past two weeks I've worked nonstop on creating fake skin tissue to cover up the machinery keeping you two alive." He began proudly.

Izaya and Shizuo simply stared at him, too shocked to even speak. Shinra took that as a sign to continue.

"The hardest part was finding a way to have you both retain your memories as well as your individual thoughts that make you yourselves. After all, you'd just be mindless robots if I didn't and I couldn't let that happen." He sighed, finally cleaning off his glasses.

"That's where Haruna came in." Shinra grinned like a kid as he stuck out his tongue.

"Haruna...?" Izaya blinked, not understanding how the doctor knew about her.

"She came to me a week ago, gloating about your death and accidentally let it slip that she possessed a Saika. So, I made a deal with her that if she cut the both of you and ordered the chip in your head to act like Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo then I would help her with her crush on that teacher. She luckily agreed and I finished making your bodies." He finished off, now smiling like a complete madman.

Celty couldn't believe what she's heard. These were just knockoffs of Izaya and Shizuo, not the actual people she knew. They were goddamn robots made simply for Shinra's benefit!

**[Take them apart. I don't wish to see these...** _ **things**_ **taking your old friends places]** Celty ordered, unable to even look at the two.

"W-What? Like hell, Courier-san. I'd rather not die again." Izaya smirked at her easily, folding his arms.

It was the same smirk, but different.

**[You're already dead. Rest in peace]** She typed out hesitantly, waiting for Shinra to do as she asked.

"Celty...please don't. I don't feel any different so what's the problem? I'm still myself." A soft voice murmured.

The dullahan turned around and saw her friend looking up at her pleadingly, desperation in his eyes. She felt her heart slightly crack inside, wanting to welcome Shizuo back.

However, she couldn't accept this. He wasn't Shizuo.

**[Shinra, do it!]** She pressed the doctor furiously.

In absolute shock, Celty saw him slowly shake his head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." He whispered.

What was going on?

Shinra _always_ listened to her!

"I love you more than anything, Celty. You know I do...but I can't live without Shizuo and Izaya. They've been with me too long. I refuse." He bit his lip, understanding why his beloved was so upset.

Still...he would never destroy his two friends.

Celty was still, watching the two imposters. She huffed and exited the room.

Izaya turned to look at Shinra with narrowed eyes.

"What will this change in my daily life, four eyes?" He hissed, knowing well that this couldn't be an 'all good miracle'.

Shinra laughed at the return of his old nickname, feeling tears prick his eyes.

Shizuo bit his lip nervously, head still reeling from the new information.

"Yeah, let's talk about that now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems now that I'm working on my main fanfic 'The Hilarious Romance Between The Brute and The Flea' I'm neglecting my other ones ;-; I apologize for that.


	5. Chapter 5

"I can't just _not_ go out, Shinra!" Izaya hissed angrily.

Shizuo gnashed his teeth, rage blazing in his brown eyes. "Do you just expect us to stay here?!" He snarled.

Shinra held up his hands, trying to get his friends to calm down.

"Just let me explain, would you?!" He sighed, sitting down in a chair.

The doctor looked at the two men who were still on the examination tables, unable to walk yet.

"You guys were dead, alright? Literally everyone knows you two are no longer living. Hell, your bodies are still in your graves!"

Izaya shivered at that. He felt like himself but apparently he was just a robot.

No, that couldn't be true!

It wasn't fair, he couldn't possibly be dead!

Shizuo was staring at the floor, unable to look back up at Shinra. "How's my brother?" The blond choked out.

Shinra bit his lip and closed his eyes sadly.

"He'll be better when he finds out your back, Shizuo." He replied truthfully.

The brunet broke into a smile and nodded to confirm what he said.

"Yeah, everyone will be happy to see you guys again!"

Izaya's eyes immediately narrowed in confusion and he gazed back at Shinra.

"Hate to break it to you, Four Eyes, but only someone as crazy as you would miss me." The informant joked.

Shinra laughed and shook his head.

"No Izaya, your sisters really want to see you again. Everyone else just feels the city is weird without you two."

He explained.

Izaya couldn't help but feel his heart warm slightly at the thought.

Well, if he _had_ a heart that is.

Shizuo shook his head, trying to get back on topic. "When will we be able to walk again."

Shinra immediately stood up and walked over to a machine.

"As soon as I generate more prosthetic muscles to put into your legs you'll be able to. I'm guessing somewhere around tonight."

He grinned gleefully, so excited that he was nearly finished.

Izaya, however, did not care about this at the moment.

"Shinra...we're not humans. I'm...n-not even the actual Izaya apparently. Just a mindless robot who was ordered to act like him."

The raven whispered softly.

Shizuo flinched at his enemy's words, pain stabbing deep into his heart.

Shinra's smile immediately fell off.

"No. You ARE Izaya. The only difference is that you'll never age! You two will still have to eat, drink, sleep, and everything a human has to!"

His words were forced as if he was trying to forget the fact that it was him who created these beings.

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair, face strained.

"Will we ever be able to go back to our old lives?" The bodyguard asked quietly.

Shinra folded his arms and thought it over.

"I would have to tell the people you two know what happened but the rest of the public can assume it was a miracle or whatever."

A smile crept back to his lips.

"Just be patient, I'm doing everything I can."

The doctor mumbled.

Izaya examined his body, feeling the fake skin tissue that felt disturbingly real.

Shizuo stared off into space, lost in his thoughts.

Shinra lifted his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"Everything will go back to normal."

He told himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Celty sighed inaudibly as she opened the door back up to her home. She'd been gone for the past few hours simply riding Shooter, lost in memories of the past.

Shizuo...her best friend.

Izaya....the genius informant.

They had died a few weeks ago in a terrible car accident no one had seen coming.

Celty had attended both of their funerals and comforted her lover Shinra through the most difficult time in his life.

But...people were supposed to move on.

Not just the souls of the dead, but the living as well.

You couldn't stay stuck in the past, Celty was sure of it.

"Izaya, I said to take it easy! You have to learn how to walk again, alright? These things take time!" A voice suddenly interrupted the distraught dullahan's thoughts.

"Shut up, Four Eyes! This is your fault anyway!" Someone else replied haughtily and caused Celty to turn away from the direction of her bedroom and slowly make her way back into the lab.

Walking inside, Celty stopped and 'stared' at the scene in front of her. She had hoped that Shinra would see reason, that he would understand what he did was wrong...but seeing him smiling vibrantly made her wish crumble.

A raven sat down on the floor, his legs splayed out in front of him. His expression was more than a little annoyed but his eyes betrayed nervousness. Next to him a blond clutched a counter top, his own legs shaking from the effort. 

"Shinra, this isn't fucking working!" The taller man who struggled to stay upright hissed. 

Brown eyes glinting, Shinra rolled his eyes.

"Shizuo, give it some time. You've only just woken up today, it's been weeks!" Shinra exclaimed.

Dark red eyes glanced up at the doctor sharply.

"Weeks? I was under the impression that we weren't even living anymore. Stop pretending it didn't happen." Izaya muttered, his voice unusually soft. Shinra's happy grin fell off at that and his own eyes turned furious.

"Death? There was no death! You two...you were just injured from the accident! And I patched you up! That's what HAPPENED." He smiled again at Izaya, his face menacing.

Izaya flinched and looked away, taking deep breaths. Even Shizuo seemed taken aback by his friends outburst.

Celty chose that moment to make the three men aware of her existence. Tapping on the door gently, she felt her heart hurt a little at the sight of Shinra's immediate cheer from her arrival.

"Celty, you've returned~! That's great, I was just about to start dinner for the four of us! I was thinking hot pot, yeah? Sure, it's usually for a lot of people but we deserve a little celebration, don't you think?" He asked, bouncing a bit from excitement.

Izaya frowned and looked away, deep in thought. Shizuo looked just as perplexed and he stumbled over to the smaller brunet.

"Shinra...we have to talk about this-"

"I'll start right now!" Shinra shouted and immediately left the room, a smile still spread across his face.

Shizuo chewed on the bottom of his lip and he glanced over at Celty.

"So...how have you been?" He asked her softly, hoping for a better reaction this time.

He wasn't the same but...they were still friends, weren't they? 

Celty just had to give them a chance.

The dullahan froze at Shizuo's voice and she took a step back.

**[I should go help Shinra]** Fleeing, Celty closed the door behind her and left them alone.

Shizuo breathed out a small sigh and hung his head.

"You're still a protozoan, I see." A quiet voice behind him mumbled. Shizuo whipped around and threw a terrifying glare at the younger raven.

"What the fuck are you saying, flea?" He snarled.

Izaya lifted up his head and to Shizuo's surprise, the tiniest smile laid there.

"At least something is the same."

He whispered before letting his head hang again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back~!!!!   
> So sorry ;-; school has been MURDER.  
> Unfortunately real life does take priority over fanfics...  
> ANYWAY.  
> I have finished one of my other fanfics and therefore will be starting a new one  
> Look forward to it, I think you guys will enjoy it ^^


	7. Chapter 7

Red eyes burned with anger as they stared down at pale hands laying limply at each side. They drifted down to watch their clothed legs. If he tried hard enough, he could move them. The man wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

...

Who was he?

The male with dark raven hair knew the answer should be fairly obvious. In less than a second only one name came to mind.

_I am Orihara Izaya. A 24 year old information broker who works for the Awakusu Kai. I have two younger sisters and I believe myself to be the closest person to God, should there be one. I'm an atheist.. I love humans.. bitter food are my favorite..._

**No.**

Orihara Izaya had died in a car accident many weeks ago. He was at rest underneath the earth, gone from this world. 

So he was he?

Shinra had claimed he was one and the same with the deceased man. He surely felt the same, as if nothing had happened at all. But then... he wasn't even human. If that skin tore off beneath would only be a robotic arm.

No bone.

No nothing. 

He vaguely heard Shizuo arguing with Celty once more, him pleading the dullahan to just give him a chance. Dumb protozoan actually thought he was still human. Well...not that he was to begin with. Now it was just obvious to the other people around him.

And this time, Izaya was no longer human himself. Nor a god, for that matter. Just a big piece of metal ordered to act like someone who no longer existed. 

He knew that just as well as Celty.

So he wasn't Orihara Izaya, that much was certain. He wasn't human, no doubt about that.

Yet...the desire to continue living still burned inside of him, refusing to give up at this... this...

Second chance.

Yeah, that was it!

So what if he wasn't the old Izaya? He was Izaya NOW.

And no one could ever change that. 

Fuck Celty and her worries, Izaya was going to keep on going until the bitter end. He WAS Izaya. Same thoughts, same memories, same EVERYTHING. Nothing changed, he was still the best informant in all of Ikebukuro. A smirk spread across the raven's face and he forced himself up, surprised to find his legs finally working. Walking out of the lab, he strode up to the bickering friends confidently.

Shizuo's warm brown eyes were watery as he grabbed Celty's hand, neither of them noticing Izaya's presence yet. 

"Celty, it's not like I came back on my own choice! This isn't my fault, I didn't want any of this!" He shouted at the silent dullahan desperately.

"You mean you don't want to live again? You don't want to see your grief-stricken brother? Work for Tom again? You don't want to start over?" Izaya spoke, his voice hard. 

Shizuo immediately glared at Izaya and growled warningly at him.

"The fuck do you know, flea? Leave me alone." He snapped in return. Celty took Shizuo's moment of distraction to quickly leave the house. She needed some air after all this...

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "Look what you did! I was trying to explain-"

"I know you were. But why waste your time explaining that to someone who obviously doesn't care?" Izaya cut Shizuo off instantly his voice becoming soft.

"I know you, Shizu-chan. I know that you don't want to die. And guess what? So many people will be happy at your return return. Give it a try, alright? Celty will come around...she's grieving too."

Izaya finished off and he ran a hand through his hair, ignoring Shizuo's intense stare. Hearing Shinra in the kitchen, Izaya sighed quietly.

"And don't be so hard on him. We're all trying to get through this."

The raven murmured and walked off, hoping that perhaps the blond would see what he was saying.

Brown eyes never left the retreating form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned from my (extremely long) break!! A lot of updates will be coming out today and tomorrow for my frequent readers so enjoy! Thanks for sticking around :) I really appreciate it!


	8. Chapter 8

Izaya strolled into the kitchen smoothly, concentrating on keeping his legs up. Fuck, who ever thought walking could be so incredibly difficult.

He could only hope that in the coming days he would not only regain his ability to run but also the parkour skills he had been mastering since he was a child.

A child...

Izaya sighed to himself and shook off his train of thought, having already come to his resolve that this was indeed a second chance for him and not a mistake.

Shinra was putting the finishing touches in the hot pot he was making for everyone, humming cheerfully under his breath as he took out some bowls.

The raven frowned to himself. Had the doctor always looked that small?

Shinra's outfit was baggy, his lab coat practically falling off his too thin shoulders. From what Izaya knew though was that Shinra had always taken exceptionally good care of himself. To put it in Four Eyes words...

_"I need to stay healthy so that I can make sweet love to my dearest Celty even when I'm old!"_

Now though...he looked to be in anything BUT good health.

"Did my death really screw you up that badly? Shinra, I didn't know you cared so much~!" Izaya teased playfully, setting a hand on Shinra's shoulder.

He waited for the usual response which usually involved how Izaya was Celty's main source of income so of course Shinra needed him alive.

"What are you talking about? Did you have a weird dream or something? You **never** died!" Shinra smiled at Izaya even as his voice forced out words much too harsh for the doctor.

Izaya's own grin fell off and he withdrew his hand, gazing at his friend with skeptical eyes. He never would've pegged Shinra to driven into this behavior from just his death. It wasn't like they were all that close after all, he came to him whenever he was injured and talked to Shinra on the phone. Hell, Izaya had never even been invited to one of Shinra's famous hot pot parties!

So what was the big deal?

"Can you go set the bowls and silverware out on the dining table, Izaya? I just about finished up." Shinra spoke calmly as he poured everyone an equal amount of food.

The informant nodded silently and brought the food out as asked, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest. He glanced over at Shizuo who was sitting on the couch, flipping through TV channels slowly.

"Oi, dinner's ready brute. Time to get that obnoxious strength of yours back!" Izaya called cheerfully, attempting to lighten the mood by doing one of his favorite pastimes:

Annoying Shizuo.

Shizuo shot the younger man a furious glare, his eyes blazing already as he gritted his teeth.

Oops, looks like he was already in a bad mood. Izaya chuckled to himself, holding Shizuo's gaze steadily.

"The fuck did you say to me, louse?" He growled, snapping the remote he'd been holding in two.

It was at that moment when Shinra entered the area, his eyes widening instantly at the sight of his destroyed remote control. Shizuo opened his mouth to apologize and offer to pay for a new one when...

The doctor burst into laughter, chuckling so hard he had to hold his stomach. It sounded nothing like his hearty giggles he made around Celty though...it was almost borderline hysterical.

"Oh Shizuo, haha leave it to you! No worries, you can't control your strength after all! It's what makes you, **_you_**!" He responded lightly, patting the blond on the back before sitting down at the table to eat.

Izaya stood frozen, unable to comprehend what was even happening. He glanced at his old friend, watching as Shinra calm himself down and begin to eat peacefully. Looking back over at the blond, Izaya saw Shizuo was just as startled as he was.

"Sit down, you two. Let's eat together like we used to in high school! Mind you both that I don't want to hear your constant bickering~!" Shinra grinned and gestured to the other two seats at the table.

"Shinra..." Shizuo began, his voice dripping with concern.

"I said **sit**." Shinra's rough voice replied as he took a large bite out of some beef.

Izaya slowly sat down in his seat, Shizuo sitting across from him. There was also a bowl out for Celty as Shinra always prepared meals for her even though she couldn't eat. The dullahan herself hadn't made an appearance, most likely having locked herself in her bedroom to think about the current situation.

In all honesty, Izaya couldn't blame her.

After all, what could you think about the appearance of two men who were supposed to be dead? Izaya was positive she'd been suffering over Shizuo's death considering how close the two were. Not to mention that she most likely didn't enjoy seeing Shinra like this.

Hell, the guy was creeping _him_ out.

Izaya watched with narrowed eyes as Shinra joked with Shizuo about the time they'd met in elementary school and all the adventures they had.

The doctor's voice was incredibly forced and Shizuo kept looking at Izaya, his honey eyes showing he shared the same question that was whirling around Izaya's own mind.

_Shinra...what happened to you?_


	9. Chapter 9

Izaya sighed to himself as he took another bite out of the sandwich he had made, lost in thought. Shizuo sat on the couch in the living room with a blank expression. Well...the blond never really showed much emotion these days.

It had been a month and a half since Shinra 'saved them' as the doctor put it. They hadn't been out of the apartment yet, Shinra explaining it was still far too soon for them to venture out. Staring at the front door that was locked from the outside, Izaya couldn't help but feel he wouldn't be able to skip down the streets of Ikebukuro for a long time.

If ever.

Plopping down beside his undead partner -Oh how he loved referring to Shizuo and himself as zombies, especially with how much it pissed the ex bartender off- Izaya handed over a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the blond. Shizuo took it slowly, shooting Izaya a suspicious look.

"You didn't poison it, did you?" He asked gruffly, eyes narrowed.

Izaya simply laughed, waving Shizuo off. "Please, there wouldn't be any point. We both know Shinra would just bring you back again." He teased.

Shizuo lowered his head, eyebrows furrowed. "No, he'd bring back a different robot meant to act like Heiwajima Shizuo." He replied softly.

Izaya leaned against the couch, rolling his eyes. "How long are you going to mope about what happened?" He asked, voice turning harsh.

The raven's eyes narrowed even more.

"We **_died_**. We were hit by a car and perished. Yeah, it's rather tragic I suppose but Shinra brought us back! Even if we aren't exactly our original selves. We **_are_** Izaya and Shizuo!" He snapped.

Izaya blinked in confusion as Shizuo let out a low, sullen laugh that was devoid of any humor. "Ya know, Shinra didn't get to see all of my body. There's no birthmark I had on my foot, my hair is about a half inch longer than it should be, and my dick is bigger than it was before." Shizuo raised his head to look back up at Izaya now, his eyes every bit as hard.

"So tell me more about how we're still those people, Izaya. Because you know what, you're right: they ARE dead. And they aren't coming back." Shizuo growled and stood up, practically towering over the informant now. His mocha eyes were blazing with fury and he clenched his fists. The plate in his hand shattered, falling to the floor.

Izaya couldn't take his eyes off Shizuo, feeling his resolve begin to crumble as the elephant in the room was finally addressed. He knew exactly what the blond was saying, he'd simply chosen to ignore it.

He ignored the fact that his eyes were a brighter red than his original rustic ones. He always glanced away when he saw the scar on his side from that time he'd been stabbed replaced by smooth, creamy skin. Izaya even chose to remain ignorant about the fact that his own length had become smaller. (Damn that Shinra, he probably made it that way on purpose).

"What do you want from me, Shizu-chan? Even if I agreed with you, what would it matter? Shinra isn't going to let us die. If you off yourself he truly would just bring you back. So what are you hoping to get out of this discussion?" Izaya asked with a defeated sigh, leaning back against the sofa. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted.

He couldn't help but feel glad that Shinra still let him feel tired.

Shizuo frowned at Izaya's questions, knowing deep down that the raven was just as right as he was. What could he do, anyway? Shinra would immediately bring him back.

The blond suddenly tensed, his eyes widening. Wait...no. He'd just told Izaya how it wouldn't be him, it would be some other version of Shizuo! Meaning that if he broke down and...died, he himself wouldn't be coming back.

Another robot would.

"I'm gonna go try and see if Celty will talk to me yet. She should be in her room right now." Shizuo muttered, bending down to pick up broken pieces of the plate below him. Perhaps soon...He would be just like it.

Izaya watched Shizuo throw the trashed plate into the garbage with slitted eyes. "Alright, it's not like I can stop you." He breathed out, shrugging nonchalantly as he flipped the channel onto Doctor Who. Relaxing on the couch, Izaya chuckled.

"This show is so relatable...ne, Shizu-chan?" He murmured, watching his old enemy disappear out of the room.

Shizuo walked to the back of Shinra's house quickly, finding Celty's room. It had previously been used for storage as Celty and Shinra shared a bedroom. During the past month however...Celty had moved into that room on her own despite the doctor's pleas for her to stay.

"Celty, open the door. I know you're in there. We have to talk!" He knocked on the door repeatedly, not willing to take no for an answer. Everything remained completely silent, making him believe she really was set on pretending he was dead.

Well...who was the one truly pretending, here?

The front door cracked open, revealing his best friend. Celty had her helmet tilted as she waited for an explanation.

"Celty..." Shizuo started, taking a deep breath before looking up at her with determined eyes.

 

"I need you to kill me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHH I'M BACK! Sorry for the super long hiatus, school always gets crazy busy during the last couple months. Anyhow, summer has indeed arrived so expect much more frequent updates!  
> Now if you will excuse me, it's time to take care of my other series that I've abandoned for so long!  
> Hope you enjoyed the angst~ ;)


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